Dressing for the Gala: A Short Moral Tale

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A reader writes: ‘I have been invited to the Grand Duchess’s gala, and I own one collar, which is green and has a bell. What do I do?’ My dear, you will do the only thing a person of taste can do: panic quietly and borrow.

Our Rental Salon holds 60 evening collars available for the night at 15 treats, with a signature clause forbidding the use of sauces. Pair a black velvet band with a pearl pin and a small, cold expression. Arrive late, depart early and never be the cat who stands beside the buffet. Your green collar will wait at home, consoled by a framed photograph of a better decade.

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