Fabric Report: A Eulogy for Polyester

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Let us speak plainly about polyester. It does not breathe. It does not forgive. It crackles when stroked and clings to the fur like a regretful ex. We retired it from our atelier on the first of July in a small, tearful ceremony.

In its place, our new Collar Cloth Series offers a velvet mixed with Peruvian alpaca that costs 118 treats per metre and feels like being petted by a cloud. Our head of textiles, Ysolde Hairington, tested it by lying on a swatch for nine hours. ‘It is love,’ she reported, ‘but with seams.’ We have ordered 400 metres and our accountant has stopped speaking.

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